i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
