We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
