i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
