as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize