Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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