Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
