Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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