Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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