Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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