okay pat passed out under dana's car
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
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