with your own penis?
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize