I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
