So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
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