You work out of a Hotel?
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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