mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Women Are Tweeting Photos Of Their Underwear To Support Rape Victim Whose Thong Was Cited During Trial
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
21 ‘Don’t Say It’ Tweets That Are Gonna Get Said Every Damn Time
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe