Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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