Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
