I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Randomize
