I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
