real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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