their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
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