I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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