did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Randomize
