I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
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