I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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