you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
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