every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
