The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
