One girl and one boy is just not enough.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
dude. I can hear the air.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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