so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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