i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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