you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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