Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
