I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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