upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize