grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
