drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Randomize
