Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
