So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize