My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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