even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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