just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
