Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
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on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
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It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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