Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
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Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
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We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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