before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
