Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
