Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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