She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Randomize
