I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
