Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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