I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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