Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
