don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
