she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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