u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
