Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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