Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
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